


EggEggEggEggEggEggEgg

by Maraculate



Series: Of Mice and Mermen [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Crack Treated Seriously, Eggs, Fatherhood, Giving birth through eggs, M/M, Responsibility, The second chapter is a bit depressing, like what, not really - Freeform, serious moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 21:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15916278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraculate/pseuds/Maraculate
Summary: Honestly if the title doesn't draw you in Idk what will.





	1. What.

The day was normal, Michael promised. Nothing especially weird would happen, he thought.

 

Okay, in fairness, a lot of weird things happened since he met Jeremy, but this was taking it to a new level. 

 

That morning, he screamed, “Bye bitch!” and Jeremy laughed after giving him a hug goodbye. He worked at the office, ate a tuna fish sandwich Jeremy made him the night before (he was surprisingly cruel and uncaring towards his brethren), and sipped his overpriced iced caramel macchiato. It was humid out, so Michael felt like a fucking mess whenever he went outside. It was still expected weather, at least.

 

So, imagine his surprise when Jeremy wasn’t home before him at five, or so he believed. As much as he liked the outdoors, Jeremy preferred the warmth of the inside and his hoodie. Michael only took that hoodie when Jeremy said it didn’t ‘smell like him anymore’, but Michael could tell he just felt bad for taking it.

 

“Jere?” Michael finally called out. “Where are ya, dumbass?”

 

“Up here, fucker!”

 

Ooh, fucker. That was a new one.

 

Michael opened the door to Jeremy’s room and was greeted with quite the sight.

 

First of all, there was blood. It was blood on medical tape that Jeremy wrapped all around legs and he was naked. That made Michael widen his eyes and immediately start fretting. 

 

“What the fuck?” Michael asked. He hadn’t even approached the elephant in the room. The light blue egg on a pillow underneath a lamp.

 

“This is yours, Michael.” Jeremy pointed. He looked sweaty and exhausted. Bags hung under his eyes and there was a vomit stain on his chin.

 

“Wha- okay, first of all, we’re washing you off and giving you some toothpaste,” Michael said. He at least seemed fine? 

 

While Michael took a washcloth to Jeremy’s face and body, the merman just stared at the ground, a thoughtful look on his face. When Michael was finally done, he helped Jeremy stand and led him back to the room.

 

“Okay, so what is that?” Michael finally asked.

 

“An egg.”

 

Well, no shit. “You know what I mean.”

 

“Your egg. My egg. Our egg. That egg is to me as a child is to a mother.”

 

Michael blinked twice. Then he turned to Jeremy with a frozen look on his face.

 

_ :( _

 

_ Your Michael ran into a problem that it couldn’t handle, and now it needs to restart. _

 

_ You can search for the error online: HAL_INFORMATIONPROCESSING_FAILED _

 

“Michael. It’s your child.”

 

_ ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. _

 

_ THIS FANFICTION HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN DUE TO THE TOTAL MENTAL COLLAPSE OF MICHAEL MELL.  _

 

_ EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG.EGG. _


	2. Moments I Missed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This got funny and then got serious and depressing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never did I think I would write any sort of male pregnancy. I'm disappointed in myself and everyone else should be, too.

“Mikey?” Jeremy leaned over Michael who fell on the floor.

 

“Hey babe.” Michael bit the inside of his cheek.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

The gears in his head started ticking again. Inside that egg was… their kid? What? Michael sat up and rubbed his head.

 

“This is hard to explain, but you know how fish lay eggs?” Jeremy asked. “Normally, the female lays the eggs in a pocket underwater and males ejaculate on them to fertilize the eggs.”

 

Michael wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the rest of this story.

 

“It’s kind of opposite for mermen and mermaids, to be really simplistic about it. I wasn’t sure if having sex with you would do that, but I guess it did. Having a hybrid child is unprecedented, to say the least.”

 

“So, your legs…?”

 

“I realized today that I had the egg. My body expelled it through the only available pocket. I may not be sitting down for a while, but I heal fast,” Jeremy sheepishly admitted.

 

“Jesus Christ. Is our child one quarter fish?” Michael shouted.

 

“Uh, um, I guess?” Jeremy shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. But I’m really sorry. I know that you agreed to adoption, but I just… do you not want the child?”

 

“It’s not that!” Michael immediately replied. “It’s just that I never heard of a male anything giving birth-wow I can’t believe that I just said that. Anyway-” he cleared his throat. “If we can pass the child off as human so that no one will bully him or her, then I’ll be happy to raise them with you.”

 

Jeremy’s face brightened at that. Michael stood up and pulled Jeremy into a tight squeeze.

 

“Dear God, I’m going to be a father. And the child is legitimately mine,” Michael chuckled.

 

“Our child,” Jeremy huffed. Michael let out a bark of laughter.

 

“My bad.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get technical with me, young man.”

 

“Shaddup, older man. You preyed on an innocent seventeen year old with your nineteen year old pedophilia,” Jeremy replied. 

 

_ Crink. _

 

Michael blinked twice. Jeremy scrunched up his face. They both looked confused.

 

_ Crink. Crack. SHUNK. _

 

“WAH!”

 

“Holy shit!” Michael screamed. He nearly passed out again, but he then ran over to the egg. That shit busted itself open, for the lack of better words.

 

Out came a normal sized baby. He had Jeremy’s eyes and pointy ears, but he had most of Michael’s features when he was a baby. 

 

And… Michael took a quick look to make sure.  _ She _ , actually, was beautiful. Holy shit, he just had a baby with Jeremy. Without a surrogate. Or adoption. The one thing about being gay he disliked was that Michael was never truly going to have a child with his husband that was completely theirs. And also hemorrhoids, but he wasn’t a bottom.

 

Until now. Not the bottom part, the child part. He picked up the baby and Jeremy gingerly grabbed a blanket and wrapped up their baby.

 

“Holy crap,” Michael said. “That was fast.”

 

Jeremy just nodded blankly.

 

“Jeremy, honey, go to bed, okay? You need rest, above all else,” Michael told him. 

 

The merman just stared at him with a tired look in his eyes. The baby was still crying.

 

“I got this, okay? You went through a lot by yourself. You should’ve called me, by the way,” Michael scolded him.

 

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

 

“I love you, too. I also love… did you think of a name?” Michael let out an awkward chuckle.

 

“Mira. Short for Miracle. We can say it’s just Mira, though, if she gets embarrassed about it,” Jeremy answered.

 

“Mira is great,” he said. 

 

“I once read babies appreciate skin-to-skin?” Jeremy started. “And, ugh, since I can’t make breast milk, we’ll need a lot of warm bottles. Oh, I forgot about how we should always be talking and babbling to the baby to help her pick up on speech. Next, we should-”

 

Jeremy fell on the bed and hissed in pain. He left a few stains on the sheets, and Michael decided to handle it in the morning.

 

“Jeremy, don’t push yourself. You just fucking gave birth,” Michael chuckled.

 

“No more cursing. Not good for the baby,” Jeremy muttered sleepily.

 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Okay. I’ll take care of the baby, Jere. This is the weirdest freaking thing to ever happen to me, but I have a higher tolerance for it since meeting you.”

 

He tiredly put up a middle finger. Michael cackled. The baby kept crying.

 

“What did he say? Skin-to-skin?” He muttered. Jeremy was out cold. He had to give him credit for being able to fucking sleep.

 

Michael remembered that one episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Karev held the baby and threw off his shirt. He held the baby close to his heartbeat and muttered sweet nonsense to her, hoping she would calm down.

 

“Come on, little fucker,” Michael cooed. This went on for about seven minutes and the baby wouldn’t be quiet. 

 

He had to take her out of the room and sit in the living room. Michael could feel the beginning of a headache coming on.

 

“Your papa is too tired to take care of you. You came out of his ass! In an egg! That’s a bit painful, isn’t it?” Michael murmured. “God, I’m going to be an awful father.”

 

Eventually, the sobs turned into half-hearted whimpers. Michael counted that as a temporary win. He knew that babies were initially more attached to their… mother, at birth, so maybe he should try putting the baby in Jeremy’s arms?

 

Michael went back upstairs and pulled the covers over the baby and himself along with his passed out husband. He slipped the baby into Jeremy’s arms and as if on queue, Jeremy reached over to hold her. His eyes were still shut.

 

And she stopped. Michael wanted to scream a little bit, but he had to look on the bright side. Maybe he wouldn’t pull his hair out. 

 

…

 

Sheesh, he had to really work on his patience. He stared at Jeremy’s exhausted face and reached over to pet the side of his head, somewhat. Jeremy shuffled a bit and pulled the baby closer. 

 

Honestly, what was he going to do? Sure, Jeremy would help him, but how was Michael going to raise a kid? He was impatient, sometimes really moody, and just overall not good with kids. At least with adoption, he would have time. 

 

The intrusive thought of putting the baby in an orphanage came to mind, but that would probably be the worst possible thing he could do to the both of them. 

 

A few tears arrived at his eyes. Since when was he such an awful person? Was he going to hurt his own kid like a psychopath? Mentally or physically harm them in a way that he wouldn't be able to fix since he was just that much of a bad person? He subconsciously kept a loose arm around the both of them.

 

No, no way. No.

 

He was not going to a hurt a child. He never laid a hand on anyone except for that pirate ship, and he wasn’t going to start now. He was going to love Mira to death and make sure Jeremy wouldn’t be alone. He could brood all he wanted, but that wasn’t going to change the fact that both of them needed him for this.

 

Mira. He kept thinking of the baby as 'the baby' or 'her' instead of her name. He bit his lip and let out a soft cough.

 

“I love both of you, okay?” Michael whispered. He removed his glasses and sniffled a bit. “Your dad isn’t going anywhere, your dad is staying right here. Your husb isn’t going anywhere-” he let out a choked laugh. “Your husb is staying right here. No matter what. I'll be a Heere. When it all feels like the universe is against you until your problems are nothing but small bumps in the past, I'm here."

 

He kept repeating that, even when his throat hurt and even when he wasn’t sure he was saying the right words until he passed out, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grind never stops.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah sorry we ran into some technical difficulties. Chapter 2 will eventually come!


End file.
